Milwaukee Jobing Community Blogs

Come and join me for a complementary Wine Tasting and receive career transition advise and of course, there will be networking. This event is sponsored by my friend, Hale Besaw, from Robert W. Baird & Co.  It should be fun. She has told me if you want to extend this invitation to anyone who might find it valuable please feel free to do so. Please RSVP to Hale, or you can let me know and I'll forward it on to Hale.  The details are below.

I hope you can join us.

Take Care and ...
"Keep it Passionate"


Susie Mathews
Follow my blog at
www.Cashinonthepassion.com
Susie@winning-directions.com
WWW.winning-directions.com
262-391-3828

Haly Besaw invites you…

Financial Consideration of a
Changing Career
Networking and Wine Tasting

Speakers:

Melissa Perrigoue, Proprietor
Vino 100
"Wine Tasting"

Justin Garrett, Regional Director
IVY Funds
"Beyond Boundaries?"

Susie Mathews, Motivational Speaker
President of Winning Directions
Author of "Ca$h is on the Passion"
and "Miracles Do Happen!"

Haly Besaw, Financial Advisor
Robert W. Baird & Co., Waukesha
"Financial Consideration During Career Transition"

Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Networking: 4:30 - 5:00 p.m.
Wine Tasting & Presentations: 5:00 - 6:00 p.m.

Vino 100
219 E. Erie Street (corner of Erie Street and Water Street)
Milwaukee, WI 53202

R.S.V.P.
Seating is limited. Please reply to Haly by Sunday,
Nov. 1st, at 262-523-5647 or hbesaw@rwbaird.com .

I have a difficult situation with work which is also impacting my marriage. I worked for 8 years in Information Systems for a large, well known company which is on the East Coast (I live in the Midwest).  My husband works for the same company. The new company really didn’t have a role that matched my skill set but they wanted to keep me so they wrote a position for me. Within a few months I saw a need within the company that I could fill with my skill set, so I did.

Over the years I created repeatable processes which eventually turned into a new formal job description, that was filled with other workers across several departments.  The down side is this job is tedious, meticulous work for half of the time and very high stress and high visibility for the other half.  I grew bored and frustrated and stressed out with it about 3 years into it, which I told my boss.  For the purpose of this letter I’ll call her “Mary.”  To get me to stay in her department in this job, Mary allowed me to train in areas I was interested in, and work on side projects when I had down time.

While this company paid me very well and allowed me to work from home, they also expected me to be available to work 24/7/365 days a year, working with teams literally scattered from the West Coast to the East Coast as well as India. This made working at all hours of the day or night a necessity due to the time zones.  Because of my particular job I worked every Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years Eve the entire time I worked there as this is one of the busiest seasons for the company.   A year and a half ago, I finally had enough and my husband and I decided that I should give notice and leave. 

I left on very good terms and I’ve had calls every few months from various managers I’ve worked for (there’s a lot of re-orgs that go on there so I’ve worked for quite a few people) with different offers to return in various roles and capacities.  I’ve always said no, until two weeks ago.

Mary contacted me and asked if I could return to my old job and help out with year-end work.  In this initial conversation with her, I made it very clear I was available only during normal working hours (8-5) during the weekdays, and only for a standard 40 hour week, through the end of the year. I told her the amount of work she wants me to handle is double the amount I had ever done on my own previously and I would need help. She readily agreed these conditions would be fine.   My husband and I talked it over, didn’t see a down side, so after negotiating my fee and confirming with her again on my hours, and that I would need help, I agreed and signed contracts with the consulting agency.  

This week I was supposed to have a PC delivered so I could start work but it was delayed, so my start date has been delayed.  Not wanting to lose time, Mary told me she would set up a conference call with the teams I would be working with (all folks I’ve worked with many times before over the years).  I received the email invitation for the half hour meeting and I noticed Mary was not on the invite list.  I asked Mary if she was overlooked and she indicated the call was scheduled at a time she had another meeting so she could not attend but we would “touch base” after.  The Director who is running this meeting is Mary’s direct report; I’ll call him “Don”.

During this call Don and team members started by asking if I would schedule some of my working hours to be after 5 because their calendars were too full to meet with me during the day. They asked if I could take on yet another project beyond that Mary mentioned to me, and Don talked of extending the contract beyond the date I agreed to. (He may have thought this was incentive for me to work evening hours. It isn’t. I will not extend my contract).  I held firm on the call that due to previous commitments I would not be able to work beyond 8 – 5, which I had agreed upon with Mary.  I said I would work on whatever projects they needed, but I already had more than I could do so I would need the projects prioritized so someone else could pick up the ones that I didn’t get to.  There were a lot of “pregnant pauses” on the call and Don and team members just told me they would “work with it”.  No further discussion as to how they would “work with it” or when they would even reconvene to discuss the issues occurred.

Joan, I’ve worked with these folks for years, and I know they will expect me to take long meetings when I get home from my evening obligations, regardless of what time it is.  I could give Mary the benefit of the doubt that she hadn’t communicated what I told her about my hours with Don, but I really don’t believe it.  I think she purposely didn’t attend the call and asked them to push me on the hours to see what I would do. Mary, and the company in general, often says one thing to their employees, and deliver something entirely different. This has happened to my husband, as well as others I knew within the company.

After the call, I summarized what was asked of me and my responses, including the hours and extra project, into meeting minutes and sent them to Mary telling her to call whenever she wanted to “touch base.”  That was Thursday morning.  I’m still waiting.  I think it’s going to be a long wait.

Joan, I know I am so fortunate in these times that I don’t need this job or the money.  I mainly accepted it because I thought it would be good to stay current in my field (I haven’t worked since I left the company and I want to stay marketable).  The money is good for a 40 hour week.  It’s not nearly enough for working nights and weekends. 

I am going on vacation this week and I will be starting the job in November.  I am planning to talk to Mary on my first day, to let her know that I was disappointed that what we had agreed upon hadn’t been shared with the team prior to our meeting.  I want to make it clear, in a nice way, that I will not work the hours I have in the past no matter how much pressure is exerted and the team needs to make other arrangements to get additional help and coverage in terms of evening/weekend hours.  I also want to tell her that if the team feels they need more flexibility for hours and the projects are risk due to my schedule, I will certainly understand if she’d prefer to spend her funding on a consultant who can accommodate that. (This is unlikely as it would take over 2 months to train someone to do the job).  However, my husband feels very strongly that I’ve already told her and the team my constraints and I should leave it alone now and let them work it out.  As he works for the company, and occasionally with Mary, who is very close to being an Executive level manager, he has a vested interest in how I handle this.  We are very much at odds at what needs to be done.

Answer:

I agree with your husband. You’ve stated your terms to Mary, and to the team. There is no need to repeat yourself a third time.

I would caution you against assuming Mary’s absence from the meeting was intentional. I wouldn’t recommend jumping to the conclusion that they were directed to pressure you for more hours. It may have been a simple lack of communication.

Instead, on your first day, express your appreciation for the opportunity, and thank her again for her willingness to let you work 8-5. If, over the first few weeks, it becomes clear that 8-5 isn’t going to work, approach Mary and calmly suggest that as much as you enjoy working with the team, she should find another consultant who can fulfill the demands of the job.

Joan Lloyd is an executive coach, management consultant, facilitator and professional trainer.  Email your question to Joan at info@joanlloyd.com.  Visit www.JoanLloyd.com to search an archive of more than 1300 of Joan’s articles.  (800) 348-1944 © Joan Lloyd & Associates, Inc.

Your career is your responsibility.  Create your own job security by acting more like an entrepreneur at work. Learn how to “sell” your skills to your organization, add more value on the job, develop your internal advocates and identify your personal motivators with Joan Lloyd’s You, Inc. – Success Strategies to Boost Your Career & Help Your Organization. Take charge of your career, today! 

Good managers know that employee satisfaction is essential to healthy teamwork, initiative and productivity.  Based on an in-depth study of the most innovative ideas in creating a culture where employees thrive, our recruiting & retention tools have all the secrets you will need to find and keep the best employees. Creative Recruiting & Retention Strategies
or Recruiting & Retention Booklet Series (Includes Joan’s booklet, 86 Creative Ideas for Having More Fun & Less Stress at Work) 

I was hired on as an HR Generalist at an Engineering company and relocated 3 1/2 hours away from my hometown.  I have a degree in Psychology with a focus in HR, but my education never prepared me for the situation I have encountered in my new position.  I have a moral conflict and need some advice. 

The CEO of the company is verbally abusing his wife/assistant in front of all the staff.  He humiliates her by screaming at her, throwing things at her, and continually telling her she has no worth.  It is the saddest situation I have ever seen.  I spoke with him privately and told him that his behavior made not only myself, but other employees, feel very uncomfortable.  I had only been working there for two weeks at this point.

My empathetic listening skills kicked in when the wife approached me seeking "friendly" advice about her abusive husband.  As a psychology professional, I would have had her pack her bags and check into a womens' shelter.  His temper is frightening, and his violence was unacceptable.  As an HR professional, I identified the work problem as they cannot work together and that a no nepotism policy should take effect.  I encouraged and helped her find a new job.  She received an offer from a previous employer yesterday and she desperately wanted to go back. 

I went to work this morning and her face was swollen, eyes red, and tears plenty.  She had approached her husband, the CEO, about the new job opportunity.  He set up new rules for her as punishment.  She is not allowed to do anything unless it involves work or taking care of their kids.  She is not allowed to leave the office, or her house.  She is told what to do, and when she can do it.  The new job was shut down! 

I have an ethical problem here.  As an HR employee, I do not want this type of verbal abuse in the workplace.  I also do not want to become a marriage counselor!  I love my job, need my job, and don't want to move again!  Do you have any advice?         

Answer:

Your situation proves that abusers come from all walks of life. He sounds dangerous. He knows his abuse is visible to others, yet he has continued to increase its intensity. Bravo for having the spine to confront him after only two weeks on the job, however, it hasn’t been enough to contain his behavior. Approaching the problem as a nepotism issue is a good move, too, but I doubt you will get him to put that policy in place.

Sadly, she sounds so beaten down, she has lost the self esteem required to walk out on him. If there are children involved, perhaps she could be encouraged to leave for their sake. She needs counseling, support and protection—and she needs to get it from an outside source. You’re right about assuming the role of marriage counselor—it’s not appropriate and it’s not safe.

I spoke with Jill Zoromski, Senior Vice President, Retail Banking, at Associated Banc-Corp, to get her perspective. She said, “The writer doesn’t want to be a marriage counselor, but there is a certain responsibility we all need to take regarding fellow human beings.  This is the same logic that applies to seeing someone being mugged, or beaten.  Your responsibility as a bystander is to seek help.  In this case, I think that the wife should be advised to move out and go to a women’s shelter for further assistance. “

I agree. In addition, it would be a smart move to contact your outside corporate counsel to assess the risk to the organization and to you. Here are some questions to ask: What are your legal responsibilities regarding reporting this abusive behavior (or the abusive behavior toward any employee)? Could you be liable if you don’t report it? What are your rights if he retaliates, or even fires you, for getting involved? What are the risks to the organization, if the wife presses charges against the CEO? I suspect an attorney will tell you there may be more risk if you know about the situation and then say nothing.

If you have an EAP (Employee Assistance Program), you could also ask them for some advice regarding handling this situation. If he is this out of control, I would caution you to follow the advice of the experts, rather than try to attempt an intervention yourself. If his violence erupts, such as a threat towards you, I’d call the police first, and an attorney second.

Zoromski suggests that the HR person should not tolerate the behavior in her presence.  “If it takes getting up and walking out of the room every time he does it, I think that’s the right thing to do.”  At the very least, showing you won’t condone his behavior is a significant statement.

Whether you like the job or not, you probably should start looking for a new job, since this isn’t likely to end well.

Zoromski adds, “It’s hard to believe this is a true story, but then, we hear things like this all the time in the news and from advocacy groups.  The only real difference is that this guy is a CEO…and as far as I know, that doesn’t mean CEOs can’t be jerks too!  In fact, in some companies, it’s a job requirement.”

Joan Lloyd is an executive coach, management consultant, facilitator and professional trainer.  Email your question to Joan at info@joanlloyd.com.  Visit www.JoanLloyd.com to search an archive of more than 1300 of Joan’s articles.  (800) 348-1944 © Joan Lloyd & Associates, Inc.

We take a comprehensive approach to executive coaching. We create a customized plan for each executive, based on the needs of the executive and his/her organization.  Call for more information about our executive coaching process at (800) 348-1944.

Confronting poor performance, or difficult behaviors, is difficult.  Joan Lloyd’s How to Coach & Give Feedback CD is a step-by-step approach to giving feedback to your employees, your coworkers, or even your boss.  Actually reduces defensiveness and encourages open communication. 

In recent weeks I’ve been watching events unfold in Sedona  -- that whole James Arthur Ray thing and how people died in an ersatz sweat lodge.  I suppose for many people, a terrible event such as this (where people paid $9,000 for the privilege of dying a horrible death, surrounded in the gloom by their vomiting and fainting companions) is so exotic to most people that “that could never happen to me” is a thought that briefly passes through our minds.  And that would probably be true.

However, this whole clutch of motivation and self-help teachers has been bugging me over recent years. While a multitude of programs are offered every year that don't involve ambulances and homicide investigations, many of them are damaging in the way they take advantage of intelligent, open-minded individuals looking for a better way out of frustration and despair.  And the cumulative effect of little damages everywhere can also be very destructive indeed. And I’m worried that the general public might be even more at risk as the economy continues its stagger, stagger, crawl mode.  These are emotional frontiers we’re in, folks, and the woods are lousy with snake oil salesmen – people who promise to give you a breakthrough secret to life in a week or a weekend, for the price of a semester of college or a small car.

 I have had in my bookshelf for a couple of years now the book, SHAM, by Steven Salerno. And I’ve been really reluctant to read it. Primarily because I knew he would blow the lid off of the mechanics behind self-help gurus and their business models. And at the time I was also reading Martin Seligman (the very legitimate founder of the very legitimate positive psychology movement), and I was also dabbling in more than a little Jack Canfield, Tony Robbins, Marianne Williamson and even Joel Osteen. And, frankly, I liked the way their messages made me feel.  And while I certainly didn’t buy The Secret’s promises hook, link and sucker (I mean, sinker), having grown up in a family whose mantra was mainly, “ain’t it awful, ain’t it tragic,”  I knew there is definitely something to be said for willfully focusing on the positive side of things. If you have read my earlier postings, you’ll know that I believe that a positive attitude is more conducive to creative thinking and endurance during a time where everything seems to be hitting the fan.  At least it makes the ride a little more tolerable.

 But I also know a manipulative head-game when I see one. (At least I hope I do.) I certainly learned to recognize the signs when I’ve bought into one, much to my ever-lasting regret pretty quickly thereafter.  So, I thought I’d lay out a list of danger signs for you – with the hopes of helping you keep your money in your pocket.  (I get the fact that this could mean that I might miss out on a few sales of my own books – but at the end of this post I’m actually going to offer you my first book for free. I won’t even ask you for your email address as one of those cheesy quid pro quo gambits.)

 Avoid any course with titles containing such words as “breakthrough,” “success,” “transform,” “dream,” and whose tuition includes a comma.  Speaking from personal experience here.  These kinds of courses are mostly warmed over material drawn directly from the texts of books that you can purchase for $20 to $30.  There will be much playing of John Denver and hugging of total strangers  -- most who look like they either haven’t been hugged in decades or they’re really really really looking forward to hugging you. The break times are dedicated to urging you to sign up for the advanced course at twice the price (but today – and only today – slashed to the same amount you just paid for the basic course). My memories of those break times involve softly trance-inducing singing from the stage and a certain zombie-ness of the people moving to the back of the room where tables are conveniently set up, where staffers cheerfully accepted credit cards. Did I get anything of value from that basic week? Yes…my mastermind group is still intact after almost five years. We meet on the phone every other week and have become supportive friends. But have our circumstances changed significantly since we met that that “breakthrough” week?  Nope.  (As you can imagine, I’m usually the cranky one on our phone calls.)

 If you go to any course with a title that includes the words “spirit,” “warrior,” “vision quest,” make sure there is an EMT on call at all times before laying your money down. Most spiritual quests are flat-out scary. Who are these people to say they know the way, and will lead us there through a regimen of fasting, meditation and bodily deprivation? The way people refer to spirituality as Spirit, as if Spirit is their next door neighbor with handy cable piracy skills, is revolting. And the way white Americans romanticize the mysteries of Native American life and traditions is deeply hypocritical or willfully shallow. If they’re so enchanted by the Native American way, how about coming out to the Southwest, don't stop at the spas or casinos, and spend that week teaching Native American children to say no to crystal meth addiction and alcoholism? Share the inspiring benefits of your own education, skills and privilege, rather than trying to siphon off a few sips of mysticism from authentic traditions that you will never get anyway?

 If someone wants to teach you how to be rich (for whatever price), first find out how he got rich himself.  Look at the frequent fliers of this particular line of work, and you’ll find out that most of them got rich by sticking their hands into pockets of people just like you (and me). And they’re getting richer.  Did he ever grow a company, other than the staff of eager minions he has working for him now? Did he turn around a major corporation? Did he emerge from his own family of alcoholics and desperados to blaze his own trail by making something or contributing something useful to society (that is other than an ultra-expensive retreat)?  Is he an unimpeachable researcher who has the gift of translating esoteric, hard-to-understand information into immediately useful ideas that anyone can have for the price of a book?  That might be someone worth paying some attention to.

 When someone tells you that you’re nowhere without his secrets or gift, laugh and walk away. Need I say more? Okay, I will. I know of one so-called Buddhist guru (she’s American) who actually replaced the words “Higher Power” in the 12 Step Program with her own name.  That’s amazing. But what’s even more amazing is that hundreds of otherwise intelligent people said, “Duh, okay.”

 Just say no to any product marketed to you via email by someone you’ve never heard of but endorsed by someone you have. These people exchange mailing lists, knowing full well that purchasers of self-help products are the most likely to come back for more and more. The cynicism is mind-blowing.

 Avoid self-help books that were Number 1 on Amazon for, like, three hours one day.  Again, it’s the lists at work. These people know how to game the system and they use each others’ lists to snag that coveted spot, even for an instant. This way they can call themselves “bestselling authors.”  Big whup.

 Don’t give up your own dreams.  Life is full of true mysteries. My personal favorite one is the mystery of synchronicity. I’m a total sucker for those stories, and I have true, first-hand stories of my own that would curl your hair. But I wouldn’t bet the ranch on a synchronicity that I perceive to be an omen. (Even though, in my heart of hearts, I kind of hope it is.)

We all need fresh infusions of inspiration now and then. And  personal growth does involve keeping your mind open and venturing into uncomfortable zones now and then. But no breakthrough experience should necessitate group puking or even close bodily contact with strangers to the strains of “Sunshine On My Shoulders.”

 Keep your wallet in your pants. Or purse.

 (Now for the free offer:  I will give you a free copy of my very first book, Find Your Calling, Love Your Life. For absolutely nothing. Not even your email address.  Just go to www.unlockthehiddenjobmarket.com and click the green button that will lead you to free downloads. You can also have a free sample chapter of my new book, Unlock the Hidden Job Market.  Naturally, my coauthor and I would love it if you also purchased that book. But you know what? You don’t have to.)

And yet, you’re not.  Let me say that again: You are not a failure.  You are not a loser or a deadbeat or a flop.  Your belief that you are (or your concern that may be) is based on two misconceptions.  You think your career should unfold in a straight line.  And, you believe that today’s job market is just like those of the past, only tougher.

Those views are widely held, and they are completely wrong.  They may have been correct in the 20 th Century, but today, they’re as accurate as a stock broker’s predictions.  So when you buy into them, you throw yourself into a well of defeat that leaves you believing that you’ve done something wrong.  Or, that you haven’t done something right.  Whichever it is, the conclusion you draw is the same: you’ve let yourself and your family down.

It’s a terrible self-indictment, and you don’t deserve it.  Let me say that again: You are not a failure.  Only you can get rid of that felling, however, and there’s only one way to do it.  You have to clear up those misperceptions.  You have to view the job market and the workplace as they actually are.  Not as they used to be or you wished they were.  Do that, see today’s world of work for what it really is, and you will turn what used to be called failure into what is now genuine success.

Correcting the Misperception of a Straight Line Career

You have probably never thought about it much, but if you’re like most of us in the workforce, you assume that a career will unfold today just as it did in the last century.  Your progress in the workplace will trace a straight line.  You’ll begin at point A and if you do well, you will move up to point B and from there, you will advance to point C and so on.  Ever onward and ever upward.

The image of this traditional kind of movement, of course, was the career ladder.  It prescribed one way up and you either kept moving along the rungs or you fell off, got pushed off or retired.  The dynamic was Darwinian, but at least you always knew where you stood.

Well, that career ladder is now gone.  It’s been tossed out by employers that can no longer support the human resource management infrastructure to manage your career for you (and everyone else).  The straight line approach has, as a result, been replaced by the zigzag career.  Ever forward, but not necessarily always up.

The image of this new kind of movement is the career jungle gym.  As you may recall from your schoolyard days, the jungle gym had two alluring qualities.  First, you got to pick your own way forward—there was no teacher and today there is no employer telling you where to go.  And second, sometimes you might move straight up, but occasionally you would move from side-to-side and even down and around to get where you were going.  There was no discredit, disgrace or dishonor in the path you picked, because (a) everyone got to pick their own way and (b) if you kept your eye on your goal, you would eventually get there.  The same is true with your career.

Correcting the Misperception of a Normal Job Market

It would be reassuring, I guess, to believe that today’s job market is just like the ones of yore, only tougher.  If that were true, we would at least know the rules of the game.  Unfortunately, however, it’s not.  The rules have changed, and we must adapt if we want to succeed.

Historically, we had a “come as you are” job market.  In other words, the skill set you had in your last job was sufficient to find a new job.  All you had to do, therefore, was update your resume, send it out to a bunch of employers, do a little networking around the edges and bitta-bang, bitta-boom, you would land a job that was as good as or better than the one you had before.

Today, the opposite is true.  If you are in transition, the skills you had to be effective in your last job are not sufficient to find a new one.  If you have any doubt about that, consider this: given a choice between two equally qualified candidates, one who is employed and the other who is in transition, recruiters will select the employed candidate 99.9 percent of the time.  Why?  Because, whether it’s true or not, they believe the employed person is more capable and therefore more likely to make a valuable contribution to their organization.

How can you overcome such a disadvantage?  You have to reinvent yourself even as you are looking for a job.  Update your skill set or add a new skill that will enable you to apply what you can already do in a broader set of circumstances.  Enroll in an academic or training program or take a course from your professional association, and then, add that fact to your resume.  Such a notation demonstrates that (a) you understand the importance of always getting better in today’s workplace and (b) you take personal responsibility for doing so.  Those two attributes will help to set you apart in the job market and restart your career.

Looking for a job in the current environment is definitely frustrating and often discouraging.  It does not, however, make you a failure.  Let me say that again: You are not a failure.  What’s happening today is simply proof positive that the rules of the game have changed.  If you change with them—if you correct the way you look at the job market—you’ll have what it takes to turn what used to be called failure into the modern definition of success.

Thanks for reading,

Peter

Visit me at Weddles.com

Peter Weddle is the author of over two dozen employment-related books, including Recognizing Richard Rabbit, a fable of self-discovery for working adults, and Work Strong, Your Personal Career Fitness System.

© Copyright 2009 WEDDLE’s LLC.  All Rights Reserved.